I Didn’t Realize How Healing This Decision Would Be

August 22, 2022

I didn’t realize how healing this decision would be—choosing a different lifestyle and path.

Committing to a vision that felt wildly overwhelming and impossibly hard when it first dropped in, despite how loud the intuitive “hell yes” was. There were so many unknowns, moments where it was a no-go, and a lot of plans falling through.

I made this decision alone and for myself.

And while there was a brief window in time where someone else was going to be a part of it, this choice and path began as mine. It was 100% aligned with who I am and want to be.

It put me in motion during a stagnant season.

It brought me joy and enthusiasm when I was feeling so far from my truest life and self.

It activated parts that had been dormant for far too long after loss and trauma.

These days, I marvel at myself. This clear and directed person who decides and acts with ease. Who has absolutely no idea what she’s doing but who moves consistently toward what she wants and the vision she holds.

I’m so deeply out of my element.

(You should’ve seen me trying to measure!)

I genuinely don’t know how to do any of this.

(Google, YouTube, forums and I spend a whole lot of time together these days!)

I’m some messy combination of scared and uncertain every step of the process.

(The terror barrier is real, my friends!)

But still, I move.

I learn and try and fail and try again. I furrow my brow and I fumble through each step. I ask for help and receive it with far more ease. I’m unsteady but deeply trusting in myself.

This decision healed my heart.

It brought me home to parts of myself I’ve missed so much these last many years.

It’s asked me to grow and learn and expand at such an uncomfortably accelerated pace.

It’s brought me immense joy.

I’m so in love with my little home.

I’m so grateful for this experience and opportunity, and I’m deeply humbled by and thankful for what it’s taught me so far.

Lean into what calls you, friends.

Face your fears, heal your wounds, move through your blocks, and stretch your capacity in the process.

It will breathe new life into you.

It will bring you home to your truest self.

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